He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
