I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
