He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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