I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
