I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
