It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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