hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
