I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
