Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
