Can Purell be used as lube?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
