At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
