I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We have started to decorate penises.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
