There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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