It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
