hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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