Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
