Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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