I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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