Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
