hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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