I hate all girls vehemently.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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