if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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