So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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