I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
