Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
