New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
