What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
