Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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