i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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