he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
