a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
