hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
