those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
