I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
