you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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