Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
