its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
