If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
