To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
one two three fourrrrnication!
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
