i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
