We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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