Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
