you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
