sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
