im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
