I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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