I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
