i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He told me they were just razor bumps!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
