i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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