guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
