Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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