i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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