I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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