he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
