Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
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