Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
